You're Not Alone.
And You're Not Crazy.
If you're walking on eggshells, being accused of things you didn't do, or feeling like nothing you do is ever right—this resource is for you.
Men's Checklist: What Brings Men Here
Men come to this site for many reasons. Review this checklist to see if any patterns resonate:
Relationship Patterns
- Constant accusations of cheating, lying, or hiding things
- Walking on eggshells—never knowing what will trigger conflict
- Isolation from friends and family due to partner's reactions
- Monitoring and control: phone checks, location tracking, email surveillance
- Nothing you do is ever enough—goalposts always move
- Threats (financial, custody, false allegations)
- Emotional volatility—extreme mood swings or unpredictable reactions
- Public humiliation or put-downs
Your Emotional Experience
- Confusion about reality—questioning if you're the problem
- Anxiety, hypervigilance, or constant stress
- Feeling like you've lost touch with yourself
- Sleep disturbances or exhaustion
- Shame about being in this situation
- Difficulty concentrating or making decisions
Common Concerns
- Fear of losing custody or access to children
- Financial dependence or economic entanglement
- Concern that no one will believe you
- Uncertainty about whether it "counts" as abuse
- Cultural expectations to "handle it" or "be a man"
If these resonate, you're in the right place. This isn't about blame—it's about clarity, safety, and skills.
Take the Men's Assessment
Our 5-10 minute assessment helps you identify what patterns might be present in your relationship and gives you a personalized starting point.
Take the Men's AssessmentNo account needed. Private. No judgment.
Why Men Often Don't Recognize It
Research shows that men in difficult or abusive relationships often don't recognize what's happening. Here's why:
- Abuse is framed as female victimhood. Most awareness campaigns show men as perpetrators, women as victims. This makes it hard for men to see themselves as experiencing abuse.
- Non-physical abuse is minimized. "At least she doesn't hit me" is a common thought. But emotional, psychological, and coercive control cause real harm—sometimes more lasting than physical abuse.
- Men are taught to "handle it." Cultural expectations make men reluctant to admit they're struggling in their relationship, let alone being mistreated.
- The frog in boiling water. When things escalate slowly, each new normal seems like a minor shift from the last. Looking back, the cumulative change is dramatic.
- Fear of losing children. Men often stay because they're afraid of custody outcomes if they leave or speak up.
- Shame. "How did I end up here?" Shame keeps men silent and isolated.
What We Offer
Clarity
Understand what's happening in your relationship. Learn the difference between normal conflict and harmful patterns.
Learn About Abuse →Safety First
If you're in danger, we'll help you find resources. Your safety matters—even if you've been told it doesn't.
Get Help Now →Practical Tools
De-escalation techniques, boundary scripts, documentation methods—skills you can use right now.
View Toolkit →Understanding
Learn about trauma responses, hormonal influences, and why people behave the way they do—without excusing harm.
Learn More →Common Questions Men Ask
Can men be abused?
Yes. Research indicates that approximately 1 in 7-9 men in the U.S. have experienced severe physical violence by an intimate partner. When including all forms of intimate partner violence (physical, psychological, coercive control, stalking), the numbers are higher. Men underreport at significantly higher rates than women—estimates suggest only 3% of male victims report compared to 18% of female victims.
What if she says I'm the abuser?
This is common in high-conflict relationships. It can be genuinely confusing. Our assessment tool helps you look at specific behaviors rather than labels. The question isn't "who's the bad guy"—it's "what patterns are present and how do they affect you?"
Is this site anti-women?
No. We also have resources for women experiencing abuse. Recognizing that men can be victims doesn't minimize women's experiences. Abuse is about behavior, not gender.
Should I leave?
That's not our place to say. This site provides information and tools to help you make informed decisions. We're not here to tell you what to do—we're here to help you see clearly and stay safe.
What about the kids?
Children are affected by conflict between parents—even if they're not directly involved. We have resources for protecting children and understanding how adult conflict impacts them.
What This Site Is Not
- Not therapy or legal advice. This is educational content, not a substitute for professional help.
- Not about labeling your partner. We don't diagnose anyone. We focus on patterns, behaviors, and impact.
- Not about winning. This isn't ammunition for arguments. It's about your wellbeing and safety.
- Not one-sided. We encourage self-reflection too. Understanding what's happening doesn't mean you're perfect.