Your Experience Matters.
Help Is Available.
Whether you're experiencing abuse, navigating a difficult relationship, or supporting someone else—we're here to help.
Women's Checklist: Signs to Pay Attention To
If you're in a relationship where you feel controlled, afraid, or unsafe, you're not alone. Review this checklist to help identify patterns:
Relationship Patterns
- Frequent criticism, put-downs, or humiliation (in private or public)
- Controlling behavior: monitoring your phone, location, money, or who you see
- Isolation from friends, family, or support networks
- Blaming you for their problems or emotions
- Intimidation, threats, or aggressive behavior
- Walking on eggshells to avoid conflict or anger
- Making you feel guilty, worthless, or inadequate
- Physical aggression, pushing, restraining, or sexual coercion
Your Emotional Experience
- Constant anxiety, fear, or hypervigilance
- Feeling like you've lost yourself or your identity
- Difficulty concentrating or making decisions
- Sleep disturbances or exhaustion
- Feelings of hopelessness or worthlessness
- Relying on unhealthy coping (substance use, avoidance)
Barriers and Support
- Financial dependence or economic control
- Concerns about children or custody
- Housing insecurity or immigration status
- Lack of access to support networks
- Fear of leaving or changing the situation
Take the Women's Assessment
Get a personalized understanding of your situation with our trauma-informed, confidential assessment. It takes 5-10 minutes and is stored only on your device.
Take the Women's AssessmentNo account needed. Private. No judgment.
For Women Experiencing Abuse
Research indicates that approximately 1 in 4 women in the U.S. have experienced severe physical violence by an intimate partner, and rates are even higher when including psychological abuse, coercive control, and stalking.
Resources for You
Understanding Abuse
Learn about different forms of abuse, including emotional, psychological, and coercive control
Recognizing Patterns
Understand the warning signs and escalation patterns in harmful relationships
Digital Safety
Protect your privacy if you're being monitored or tracked
Documentation
How to safely record incidents for your own clarity and potential legal needs
For Women in High-Conflict Relationships
Not every difficult relationship involves abuse. Sometimes relationships experience chronic conflict, communication breakdowns, or ongoing tension without crossing into abuse. Understanding the difference matters:
High Conflict
- Both people contribute to escalation
- Conflict is situational, not constant
- Both feel heard sometimes
- No pattern of control or fear
- Safe to express disagreement
Abuse
- One person controls the dynamic
- Walking on eggshells is constant
- Your needs are consistently dismissed
- Fear is present
- Expressing disagreement triggers punishment
Skills for Healthier Conflict
De-Escalation
Evidence-based techniques for calming tense situations
Healthy Boundaries
How to set and maintain limits without aggression or submission
Trauma Responses
Understanding how past experiences affect current reactions
Hormones & Relationships
How biological factors can influence mood and conflict
For Women Supporting Others
If you're here because someone you care about—a partner, friend, or family member—is in a difficult situation, your support matters.
How to Help
- Listen without judgment. Let them share their experience without telling them what to do.
- Believe them. Don't minimize or question their perception of what's happening.
- Offer specific help. "I can help you research resources" is more useful than "Let me know if you need anything."
- Respect their pace. Leaving or changing a relationship is a process, not an event.
- Stay connected. Isolation makes things worse. Keep showing up.
- Don't trash their partner. This can backfire and push them away or create shame.
See our full guide: Supporting a Loved One
About This Site
This site was created with men as the primary audience—because resources specifically for men experiencing relationship difficulties or abuse are limited. But the tools and information here are valuable for anyone.
We believe:
- Abuse can happen to anyone, regardless of gender
- Understanding and skills benefit everyone in relationships
- Safety is paramount, regardless of who is at risk
- Labels like "victim" and "abuser" are less useful than understanding patterns and behaviors
If you're a woman experiencing abuse, we encourage you to also explore the many excellent resources specifically designed for women, including: